Hatching bleeding
Bleeding may occur due to the ingrowth of the foetus into the endometrium. This usually occurs between the fourth and sixth week of pregnancy.

Contact bleeding
Once you are pregnant, the cells on the outside of the cervix are extra sensitive. The cervix is located inside the vagina. Mechanical pressure can make these cells of the cervix bleed faster. This can happen, for example, after intercourse (lovemaking), pressing on hard stools, physical strain, a lot of coughing, but also without any obvious cause.

Other causes
If you have haemorrhoids, the bleeding may come from this. An unnoticed wound after shaving is also sometimes the cause. Sometimes the cause is not obvious, while the pregnancy is otherwise undisturbed.

A miscarriage is usually the loss of a desired pregnancy. Everyone will process the emotions surrounding a miscarriage differently. Sadness, anger, disbelief and a feeling of emptiness are emotions that may come up. Very understandable and they are feelings you don’t have to put away.

The course of a miscarriage is different for everyone. Generally, it starts with vaginal bleeding that increases in quantity. The bleeding may increase within hours to days and be heavy for a short time (6-12 hours). This may be accompanied by contraction-like pain, or severe menstrual pains. You may also lose clots or pieces of tissue (endometrium). The loss of the foetus is not always clearly visible. After the pregnancy tissue is shed, the blood loss and abdominal pain will subside. Bleeding after a miscarriage can last for three weeks, but it usually stops within two weeks.

You may wonder why things went wrong. It can be comforting to know that the pregnancy was usually not right from the start. So that the miscarriage was a natural and logical consequence. But beyond this factual explanation, you may think that you could have done or not done something to prevent the miscarriage. However understandable, guilt is not justified.

Also good to know: there is no timeframe to give until the grief is over. Everyone experiences it differently. Everyone does it differently. Give yourself what you need. The tips below may help.

What can you do to properly process your miscarriage?

• Take seriously what you are feeling. Everything can be there: sadness, loss, guilt, disbelief, anger, a feeling of emptiness. Maybe you also feel resignation or even relief. This is possible. Nothing is crazy.
• Talk about it. Maybe with a friend, with your partner, with your sister or a neighbour. Or with parents who have been through the same thing. Of course, you are also welcome to talk to your midwife.
• Know that your partner will most likely experience and process the loss differently from you. This is normal. It is valuable if you can talk about it, with each other and with others.
• Do what feels right for you. At the moment that is right for you. Put a beautiful statue in your cupboard. Plant a tree in your garden. Choose a piece of jewellery as a keepsake. Write your unborn child a letter. Burn a candle regularly. Or do something completely different, but choose what suits you, yourselves.
• Read about it. Write about it. There are closed groups on Facebook where you can write about your experience.
• Tell your living child(ren) about it. For example, there are great picture books to read with young children.

And do you notice that your energy is not coming back? Or that you keep brooding? Then seek help to cope with the loss of your pregnancy. This is not a topic to mess around with. Find counselling that suits you.

You can find practical tools at www.miskraambegeleiding.nl:

• A checklist to see if your symptoms might be related to your miscarriage.
• Tips and a handy step-by-step plan for telling your child(ren) about the miscarriage.
• Suggestions on how to have a pleasant conversation with your partner.
• And many experience stories from women with one or more miscarriages.